The way we approach relationships is changing. After years of swiping through endless profiles and settling into the default scripts society hands us—exclusivity without discussion, milestones on autopilot, desires left unspoken—more people are asking a radical question: What if we designed our relationships on purpose?
This shift toward intentional dating and conscious relationship design isn't happening in a vacuum. It's showing up everywhere: in the resurgence of singles events, in frank conversations about boundaries and consent, and yes, in mainstream publications like Cosmopolitan finally exploring topics once relegated to the margins. When Cosmo recently published a feature on kinky sex ideas, it wasn't just about spicing up your bedroom routine. It was a signal that the conversation around modern relationships—what they look like, how we build them, and who gets to define them—has fundamentally changed.
For too long, the dating and relationships space operated on an unspoken set of rules. You meet someone, you become exclusive (or you should), you follow a predetermined escalator of relationship milestones, and you definitely don't talk about the things that actually interest you sexually or emotionally. The result? A generation burned out on dating apps, frustrated by surface-level connections, and hungry for something real.
In September 2023, Cosmopolitan published "25 Kinky Sex Ideas to Make Your Sex Life, Well, Kinkier," and it wasn't your typical "try this position" listicle. The piece dove into everything from temperature play to attending play parties, acknowledging that exploring sexuality in relationships is about far more than physical acts—it's about trust, communication, and the courage to be vulnerable with another person.
The article featured insights from sex educators, dominatrixes, and relationship experts, including perspectives on one of the more intimidating entries on the list: attending a play party. This is where Beyond, a vetted community for modern relationships, entered the conversation.
"For me, the purpose of play parties is to explore (oneself and partnership) and indulge," explains Oyku, co-founder of Beyond, in the Cosmopolitan piece. "But it's important to note the pre-work that goes into attending a play party for the first time." She emphasizes that couples should build a strong foundation of trust and discuss their desires and boundaries ahead of time. "The more security there is, the more each partner can venture without shaking the foundation. Once there, it can be really transformative for your relationship and act as a bonding experience."
This isn't advice about kink. It's advice about relationships, period.
What makes the Cosmopolitan feature significant isn't that it normalizes kinky sex (though it does). It's that it treats exploration—whether that's blindfolds, dirty talk, or attending an event with your partner—as an opportunity to practice the skills every healthy relationship needs: clear communication, mutual respect for boundaries, and genuine curiosity about your partner's inner world.
The same principles that make exploring kink safely possible are the ones that make any form of intentional dating work. Before you can try something new together, you have to be able to talk about it. You have to know your limits and be willing to articulate them. You have to trust that your partner will respect those limits—and that if something doesn't feel right, you can say so without judgment.
This is the foundation of modern relationships beyond traditional dating scripts. And it's exactly what separates conscious relationship design from the relationship autopilot most of us were conditioned to accept.
Here's the thing about play parties, and about exploring sexuality in relationships more broadly: they're not actually about what you think they're about.
Play parties require intentionality. You can't stumble into one unprepared and expect things to go well. As Oyku notes in the Cosmo article, the pre-work matters. You and your partner need to discuss what you're comfortable with, what you're curious about, what's a hard no, and what you might want to explore under the right circumstances. You need to establish how you'll communicate during the event—maybe you have a signal that means "let's take a break" or a phrase that means "I'm ready to leave."
These aren't skills unique to kink communities. They're relationship skills, full stop.
The same framework applies whether you're attending a play party, navigating an open relationship, or simply trying to have an honest conversation about what you actually want from dating. The more clarity you have about your own desires and boundaries, the more confidently you can communicate them. And the more security you build with a partner, the more room you have to explore together without threatening the foundation you've built.
This is what sets alternative relationship structures apart from conventional ones. It's not about what you're doing—it's about the level of consciousness and communication you bring to the table.
The exhaustion with dating apps isn't new, but the backlash has reached a tipping point. According to Eventbrite, searches for singles events grew by 43% from 2022 to 2023, and in-person dating experiences—speed dating, singles mixers, curated social clubs—are booming. People are deleting their apps in droves, not because they've given up on dating, but because they're looking for something swiping left and right can't provide: genuine human connection.
Dating apps were designed for efficiency, not depth. They reduced people to profiles, compatibility to algorithms, and connection to a split-second decision based on five photos and a bio that says "I like tacos and The Office." The result is a sea of matches that lead nowhere, conversations that fizzle out, and the creeping sense that you're shopping for a person rather than getting to know one.
But there's a hunger for something different. Singles want dating apps alternative events that prioritize face-to-face connection. They want immersive dating experiences where they can meet people in contexts that actually matter—at a book club, at a cooking class, at an event centered around shared values or interests. They want to date beyond swipe culture and build relationships rooted in intentionality, not convenience.
So where does this leave us? If traditional dating apps are optimized for volume, and if the relationship escalator is optimized for societal expectations rather than personal fulfillment, what's the alternative?
The future of dating isn't about more options—it's about better ones. That's the insight driving the rise of vetted dating communities and curated experiences. Rather than giving you access to thousands of profiles you'll never meet, these platforms focus on quality over quantity. Everyone applies to join. There's an emphasis on shared values, intentional connection, and building community rather than endless swiping.
This is where Beyond comes in. Beyond is a vetted community for modern relationships, created for anyone who has ever had a drop of curiosity about dating and relationships beyond the traditional. It's not a dating app in the conventional sense—it's a space where people can explore what relationships look like when you remove the autopilot and start designing them consciously.
Members don't just swipe—they connect through user-generated events, group chats, and immersive experiences. They show up with clarity about what they want, whether that's ethical non-monogamy, conscious monogamy, exploring kink, or simply building connections with people who understand that relationships don't have to follow a script.
Beyond isn't positioning itself as just another dating app alternative. It's building a category: modern relationships. That includes the full spectrum—people in open relationships, people exploring their sexuality, people who are single and curious, couples looking to meet other like-minded couples.
What ties the community together isn't a shared relationship structure. It's a shared commitment to intentionality, communication, and conscious relating. It's the recognition that exploring your desires—whether that's attending a play party, having honest conversations about boundaries, or simply meeting people in real life at events—requires courage, honesty, and a willingness to step outside the default.
The platform supports user-generated events and group chats, allowing members to build connections organically around shared interests and values. Rather than waiting for an algorithm to match you with someone, you're empowered to create the experiences and connections you're seeking.
And that's the shift: from passive consumers of dating apps to active architects of your own romantic and social life.
The Cosmopolitan feature on kinky sex ideas might have been framed as a guide to spicing things up, but what it really did was shine a light on a much larger cultural moment. People are tired of relationship autopilot. They're tired of swiping. They're tired of pretending they don't have desires, boundaries, or specific ideas about what they want from connection.
Exploring sexuality in relationships—whether that means trying something new in the bedroom or attending an event where you can be yourself without judgment—is part of a broader movement toward intentional dating and conscious relationship design. It's about taking the skills we use in one area of relating (clear communication, boundary-setting, curiosity) and applying them everywhere.
Beyond is at the forefront of this shift, creating a space where modern relationships can thrive without apology. Because the future of dating isn't about finding the perfect match on an app. It's about building the skills, community, and confidence to design relationships that actually work for you—whatever that looks like.
And maybe, just maybe, it's about having the courage to explore what you really want, with people who get it.
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